This is a conversation between Arjun and Sejal.
They are discussing about the topic of Functioning Style in Sanatana Dharma.
Hello Sejal.
Arjun, let's discuss the importance of respect in the way we function. As Śri Gurajāda Apparao wisely said, "Love your country, nurture virtuousness. The country is not mere soil; it is its people." This underscores the importance of valuing everyone in our community.
Absolutely, Sejal. Solitude may prevent conflict, but humans are inherently social creatures. When gathered, disagreements are inevitable, much like trees in a forest rubbing against each other, potentially sparking a wildfire. Familial and societal disturbances often stem from internal strife.
The desire for dominance, thinking "This family relies on me," is a fallacy. Everyone’s unique nature contributes to the diversity of a family, which can lead to conflicts. This phenomenon extends to societies, institutions, and nations.
Often, the root of discord is an individual’s ego. Without addressing underlying pride and selfishness, conflicts are bound to occur. Peace prevails when individuals act not solely out of self-interest, but with the welfare of their family and society in mind.
Gurajāda Apparao advocates for unity and understanding, urging us to spread goodness and enrich our land. This requires elevating our actions beyond self-interest, fostering a spirit of altruism that nurtures our land and society alike.
A person absorbed in self-interest is called selfish. Such a person is indifferent to others' struggles and losses and may exploit them for personal gains. This behavior is generally frowned upon.
Conversely, striving for the betterment of family, community, and nation reflects a generous spirit, garnering respect. Those who extend their compassion towards their community are esteemed as social servants and allies of the populace.
Their deeds embody selflessness, earning them recognition and honors. Society values such individuals for their contributions, making them role models. This Subhashita beautifully encapsulates the ethos of altruism: "Trees bear fruit for the benefit of others; rivers flow to serve others; cows give milk to nourish others; similarly, this body exists to serve others."
The argument of the senses and prāṇa highlights the unique capacities and roles individuals hold within a family or society. It suggests that everyone should be permitted to fulfill their duties, with adequate support provided by others.
Their contributions should be valued, much like spokes that reinforce a wheel. A family or community can look up to such individuals as role models for progress. Conversely, the withdrawal of any member diminishes the family or society accordingly.
Exactly, Arjun. The vital air (prāṇa) that makes individuals effective is their family or society. Human interactions are influenced by the qualities that emerge when dealing with others, whether they are older, of equal standing, or younger. Such sensitivity is crucial and should guide our speech, gestures, and body language, ensuring we remain respectful.
Embracing the spirit of altruism and respect in our actions fosters a harmonious and respectful society. By putting the welfare of others first, we can create a better world for everyone.
Arjun, let's delve deeper into respectful communication with elders. When engaging with seniors, it's appropriate to address them using the plural form of "you (आप)" as a sign of politeness and respect. Humble obedience is a virtue, but it shouldn't be misconstrued as submission. It's possible to hold a differing opinion than an elder and still express it fearlessly and logically. When done respectfully, such discourse is not perceived as disrespectful by elders; rather, it demonstrates our esteem for them and our conviction.
That's true, Sejal. This respectful conduct is owed to various figures in our lives, including family elders, village leaders, teachers, superiors at work, and government officials like Tahsildars, Collectors, Judges, and Police. The same applies to politicians such as MLAs, MPs, Senators, and Ministers. This standard of respect remains even if they are younger than us.
The same level of courtesy should extend to strangers. Demonstrating respect for older individuals, regardless of their job status relative to ours, sets a benchmark for our character. Basic respect should be given to everyone as a fundamental aspect of human dignity.
However, respect is considered to be earned through one's actions, behaviour, and qualities that can inspire admiration and esteem from others. This approach to behaviour, which honours and values the wisdom and experience of elders, is exemplified in many epics and fosters harmony and understanding across generations.
Absolutely, Arjun. Now, let's consider our attitude towards youngsters. When interacting with those younger than us, it is important to approach them with affection and warmth, addressing them informally as "you (तुम)" to foster a friendly atmosphere. In North India, it is customary to address even children as आप.
In dealing with the younger generation, it's essential to strike a balance between patience and instruction. While it's important not to be overly critical of right and wrong, we must also ensure that we gently steer them towards better choices through our own behaviour and guidance.
This approach should be extended to our children, class students, and other children we interact with. Such behaviour demonstrates our affection and commitment to their growth and well-being. It's about nurturing their potential while providing the support they need to learn from our experiences.
Love indeed begets kindness, and when we act out of genuine affection, our behaviour naturally becomes more enjoyable and positive. This is the essence of good conduct—acting with a heart full of love, which not only brings joy to others but also enriches our own lives.
Conversely, allowing negative emotions like hatred to influence our actions can lead to misbehaviour, which is disheartening and destructive. It is crucial to recognise that such behaviour not only hurts others but also diminishes our own character.
To maintain harmonious relationships with younger individuals, it's important to adopt a conduct that is empathetic, respectful, supportive, and patient. Misbehaviour to avoid includes disrespect, impatience, intolerance, and neglect.
The foundation of any strong relationship is built on affection, compassion, gentleness, kindness, empathy, and love. Such a deep connection is evident in a mother’s love for her children; a mother’s heart echoes her child’s anguish and swells with pride at their triumphs.
By embodying these virtues in our daily interactions, we can navigate relationships more thoughtfully and steer away from disagreements and conflicts, creating a more harmonious and compassionate world.
That’s right. Now, when interacting with peers, it’s appropriate to address them as "you" or "thou" based on the level of familiarity. Such interactions can be informal, allowing for a greater tolerance of mistakes. This applies to siblings, cousins, friends, co-workers, and classmates, reflecting camaraderie and friendship.
Childhood friendships often carry a unique bond of closeness that may be challenging to replicate with new acquaintances in later life. In friendships, tolerance for errors is high, and the relationship is not transactional. True friendship does not seek rewards but is characterised by mutual sacrifice.
Exactly. The friendship between Śri Rāma and Sugriva in the Rāmāyaṇa exemplifies such a bond, highlighting the importance of having at least one such friend who can be confided in during tough times. In Hindu tradition, the children of maternal uncles are seen as natural friends, while the children of siblings are viewed as natural adversaries.
This perspective may have stemmed from historical inheritance rights of male siblings. However, in modern times, the law offers equal rights to all siblings. Property disputes may create rifts among all cousins in modern times.
Anyway, individuals in society can become close to us based on mutual respect, trust, and behaviour. The bond between Śri Sattiraju Lakshminarayana and Śri Mullapudi Venkata Rāmaṇa, known as Bapu-Rāmaṇa, is revered in the film industry as akin to the relationship between body and soul. Such was their friendship.
By understanding these principles, we can navigate interactions more thoughtfully and steer away from disagreements and conflicts, creating a more harmonious and compassionate world.